People have needs right?

     Some lucky people make love, some other people have sex, for the rest of us that don’t have the time, luxury, or even need for a meaning full relationship, we bang. Don’t get me wrong couples bang each other too when they need a quickie or a meaningless stress relief. Yes, Banging is fun and good for you too!

     Minus a little thing called STD’s. I don’t worry about that though because it just can’t happen to me. For the lack of a better word I use this term “banging” to basically describe the act of intercourse with out meaning, feeling, or even correct names. People have needs you know, it doesn’t make us bad people it makes us human. Right? Leave me a comment if you agree or disagree, or even have a story related to this term “Banging” that left you doing the the walk of shame home. 

     But on to my recent story of “Banging”, which we will refer to as “Doing the nasty”. Recently I went on a business trip to Massachusetts, after the first day of work I completed my business early and found myself well… whats the word for it ? Oh horny. I start thinking to myself, I am in the middle of nowhere, nobody knows me, I have no wing-man or friends to help me out. Lets see how well my game is. 

    With that in my head I shined my shoes, fixed my tie, made sure my bling bling was clean, and I began to embark on my adventure. I drove about oh 3 or 4 miles to find any signs of night life. I get out of the truck and start to do my little Staten Island Confident porkchop walk into the bar. Now, I know at this point you have a image of a 70’s porn star, with porkchop side burns and, a handle bar mustache doing the old fake gun finger point while walking into a bar. But I can assure you I didn’t look like a porno star. The fake gun finger thing well, I am not to sure about that. I mean who dosn’t enjoy a good finger gun thing every now and then?

    Anyway back to the story I proceed to make a bee line to the bar where I heard two lovely bartenders say… and I quote “Oh shit yeah” . Now I didn’t quite know what that meant, but judging by the giggles and stares I took it as a positive comment. I began to do my little small talk, where I asked the lovely ladies their names. Which they probably gave to me but to this day I have no clue what they were.

    All I heard in my ears from them was tee hee giggle giggle tee hee. Me seeing I wasn’t in the presence of rocket scientists, I took a different path in my conversation noticing a tall glass on the bar that was sitting on a lit shelf with glorious color coming from it, I asked whats that? They both jumped up and said you don’t want that. That’s called a 56 shot. Nobody was ever able to finish it. Its kinda the towns running challenge. Being the person I am, you know the next words that came out of my mouth…that’s right…I bought the $100 drink and before my credit card was swiped chants of my name were screamed, and the drink was history.

   This led to excitment in this townie bar, not to mention free drinks. After about 10 redbulls and vodka, you found me and my bum knee dancin on the bar with the lovely bartenders. At this point even in my very buzzed state of mind I realized I had to pick one of them.  Now both of these ladies were very attractive. But I chose to go for the lesser attractive one out of the two.

   I know what your thinking, but I am a smart person – I have confidence but not really the looks. So I couldn’t picture an 8 being seen with a 4 on Tuesday, It just would draw to much attention. With that, many more conversations took place with me and the ugly one.  As the night wound down, I finally asked her if she wanted to grab something to eat. As we walked out, she askes the other bartender if she wouldn’t mind holding her tips and finish cleaning up by herself,  she said no problem and we were on our way.

   We walk across the street to the neighborhood diner, where a nervous waiter took our order. I asked the girl if she noticed his shaking hands and soft speech. She replied right away, I don’t know whats going on, he usually eats and talks with me every time I work and then walks me to my car.

   As fucked up as I was I even knew what was going on here. I asked her if she liked him. She stated I never really thought about it. He’s cute but he never made a move to make me think about him that way. I began to excuse myself to go to the bath room, where after doing my business, I walked out and grabbed the waiter. I pulled him to the side and smacked him in the face, he didn’t say a word. I told him to grow a pair a balls, get some confidence and make a move with the bartender instead of shaking like a little bitch. You could be dead tomorrow live life. So what if she laughs at you, she’s not better than you and if she dosn’t laugh, well my friend you may be in for something great….

   You can really tell how drunk I was at this point, but I turned around and walked out the door all I heard was a little ah ah thanks. So here I am no ass, unable to drive home, and hungry. I proceeded to walk back across the street to find my car to sleep in for the night, when…. I hear MIKE! MIKE!… That’s right it was the hot bartender. Game on flashes in my head as I walk over to her. I say what up? She replied I am just waiting for a cab. I said do you have a license? She say’s yes, I handed her my keys and, said I need a ride back to my hotel. Could you drive me then I’ll pay for you cab from there. She goes how about you just run me a hot bath in the hotel and, give me a ride back to my apartment in the AM…..

   If you don’t know what took place for the next 5 hours your a fucking idiot and, should be shot. The next morning I drove her straight home. After dropping her off with out any phone #’s exchanged and, I not even knowing her name. I began to drive back to the hotel where I continued my business trip. 

   Now my question after all this is, don’t we all have needs? Was that wrong of me not to know her name or not asking for a #? Or the real question that’s bothering me is did she use me as a piece of 3″ meat? For her needs? LOL, I guess its just another porkchop adventure!